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Enjoy the little things
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Choose Happy
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Away with the fairies
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Absofuckinlutely
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Relax, Soak, Unwind
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People who say money doesn't buy happiness, obviously don't know where to shop!
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Somedays I think, screw this.. I'll just be a stripper. Then I remember I'm fat and I can't dance!
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Inside me is a thin woman screaming to get out, I normally shut the bitch up with chocolate!
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Not only did I fall off the diet wagon, I dragged it into the woods, set it on fire and used the insurance money to buy cupcakes!
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Have you ever just looked at someone and thought the wheel is turning but the hanster is dead!
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If you have to ask if its too early to drink wine, you're an amateur snd perhaps we shouldn't be friends!
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I enjoy a glass of wine for its health benefits, the rest for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves!
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Save Water, Shower Together!
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Wash your hands you filthy animal!
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Sandy Toes & Salty Tears
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